Anyone like hearing funny GYM Stories ?

[Air Supply]

I browse a few boards and came across a few funny ones. Let me know if you guys have any

Ya bro. Like the other day I was doing bent over rear delt fly's. I was on my last set, and decided to really go balls to the wall. I picked up the 80lb dumbbells, too light. I looked around and saw a 150lb faggot and said "Hold these faggot." I threw the 80's up in the air and did a double volleyball spike right at the faggot. Fuckin bullseye motherfucker, the kid was pinned to the ground with all his ribs crushed. I eyed the ultimate test. I went over and grabbed the 150's and started cursing the shit out of them, letting them know who's fucking gym they were in. I carried the motherfuckers over to my bench that I had pissed all over before incase anyone didn't know it wasn't taken. I threw them on the ground, sweared at the bitches even more. I took my seat, grasped my huge fucking hands around the handles, and prepared to rep for 10. I got to my 5th rep and what's this? Some old motherfucker on death's doorstep was coming over to get the 5lb dumbbells to bench with, and he farted right in my face. I looked down to check - no, I automatically knew that I didn't have sand in my vag. Here's a little science lesson for you faggots - Animals don't get sand in their vag. The shit didn't even phase me though brah, I was too in the zone to even care. I rep'd out at 10 with the 150's, stood up, and looked for that old motherfucker. I took a dumbbell in each of my animal hands and swung my arms like 2 windmills as I ran full speed at old man river. By the time he finally lifted his head it was too late. The last thing he saw was my animal eyes ready to speed up his meeting with death. I pulverized his puny body and beat him with the dumbbells until he turned to powder. I gathered up all the powder, put it in my jug, mixed it lion's blood that I carry around with me, and chugged. Some people might say it's inhumane. Some people might say being in the zone is unsafe. I say I'm just an animal.

When we walk into a club we want to take it over, its like a business and we are Donald Trump, Bill Gates, and Steve Wynn of the fitness/club nightlife world and we just take over. I bust a front double bicep as soon as i get in, then after 2 red bull and vodkas i rip my shirt off and usually just sport a tank because "i have a buzz" which i really don't but its an excuse to take my shirt off and if anyone asks "I'm hot from the alcohol" then i hit up the bathroom and look for the handicap stall to get a good pump with the dip bars for the gimps, and we just do our thing you know, all ripped shredded bros just macking on girls making everyone else feel like crap, were tanner, were more shredded, and we make it rain with the cash flow, goose bottles left and right bro.

[Air Supply]

Kinda funny

I popped my animal pak in and chased it with boars blood, and then the unthinkable happened today, I was going to enter my gym through the main entrance when animal instinct took over. I knew something was wrong. It was my large torso, too wide to get through the door. I calmed myself down thinking, i'd better be able to get into the gym. I went back to my car, popped another animal pak, reved up my engine, and drove through the door. The crash cleared 4 more feet in the entrance, wide enough for future visits to the gym, because I know i'd only be getting bigger by the second. The animal pak was in full effect at this point, I lost control. I reved up the engine once more and ran over the people on the treadmills. All those doing curls I played bumper cars with, they didn't stand a chance. I saw my target, I drove to the squat rack. Parked my car on some pussy benching 400. I got out, and immediately loaded up 1000 lbs for warm ups. Not having enough 45 plates in the gym to suffice my ultimate animal needs, I went around collecting bodies, bodies ranging from 150 pound weaklings to 300 pound blobs. I stood them all in a line and threw an olympic bar like a javelin through their torsos, making a human shish-kebob weighing 3000 lbs. I threw it up over my head, took a deep breath into my belly of human flesh and blood, and repped for 20. Then I siphoned some of my cars gasoline out onto the floor beneath the 3000 pound human squat bar, lit it up and cooked myself a well balanced animal meal. Some might call it murder, I just call it instinct, animals can't be arrested for murder. Animal Pak, can you handle it?

[Wutgunz]

The fact that the one about going to a club mentions red bull and vodka (and the behavior that happens after drinking them) just made my night.

[Air Supply]

Seriously, people can't be serious when writing that stuff. But, a part of me thinks it just might be true

Originally Posted by Wutgunz

The fact that the one about going to a club mentions red bull and vodka (and the behavior that happens after drinking them) just made my night.

[fit4lyfe]

Originally Posted by Air Supply

Seriously, people can't be serious when writing that stuff. But, a part of me thinks it just might be true

there's truth in every tale, the bar thing, that is so fukin funny and true, but why alwyas the guys that shouldn't do it, are the ones doin it?? they are feelling the first cycle, and the true multi cycled one's are covered over and still getting more play..LOL

[BIG D]

Haha you need to find some more this guys wrote hahah I started dying laughing about the old guy bending over getting 5lb dumbells and farting and him saying I didn't even care I was too in the zone lol

[MakinItBIG]

lol over the top stories... im sure it happens to all of us, seeing this clowns try dangerous/pointless exercises...i laugh a lot at my gym

[beeman]

This is from professionalmuscle.com

ell i've seen guys 140lbs running 2grams of tren per week, i've seen the 225lb bench press that only comes down 2inches then back up followed by the kid screaminng at the top of his lungs, i've seen the guy with 20" quads wearing the same tight pants cutler and the other pro's wear,etc..... but tonights was classic.

2 guys, maybe 20 years old both obviousy juiced and looked terrible. Typical 5'10" 190lbs %24 b/f acne everywhere and holding tons of water. Anyway, they are on the bench with 225lbs and they guy starts yelling to get amped up. Then says "hit me" and his buddy has a freakin taser gun(the little one) and zaps his shoulder. The guy grunts really lound and busts out like 5aweful reps. There were only like 5 other people in the gym, mainly in the cardio room,etc.. and the people up front were in the back room or something, but I just couldnt stop watching. They did it 3 time each to each other for 3 sets, then went and did some curls and left. Crazy.

[Midevil]

Originally Posted by beeman

This is from professionalmuscle.com

ell i've seen guys 140lbs running 2grams of tren per week, i've seen the 225lb bench press that only comes down 2inches then back up followed by the kid screaminng at the top of his lungs, i've seen the guy with 20" quads wearing the same tight pants cutler and the other pro's wear,etc..... but tonights was classic.

2 guys, maybe 20 years old both obviousy juiced and looked terrible. Typical 5'10" 190lbs %24 b/f acne everywhere and holding tons of water. Anyway, they are on the bench with 225lbs and they guy starts yelling to get amped up. Then says "hit me" and his buddy has a freakin taser gun(the little one) and zaps his shoulder. The guy grunts really lound and busts out like 5aweful reps. There were only like 5 other people in the gym, mainly in the cardio room,etc.. and the people up front were in the back room or something, but I just couldnt stop watching. They did it 3 time each to each other for 3 sets, then went and did some curls and left. Crazy.

I though I'd heard it all but a taser...LOl. WTF

[fit4lyfe]

Originally Posted by Midevil

I though I'd heard it all but a taser...LOl. WTF

Now thats funny, I would have gone over and asked for the pleasure of "hitting" him with the tazer and zapped their pumpkin seed testicles...