Todays Bad Jokes!!

[IronpumpedLady]

Q. How do men exercise at the beach?
A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Q. What’s the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
A. We cook/they eat; we clean/they dirty; we iron/they wrinkle.

Q. What did God say after he created man?
A. "I can do better than this."

Q. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
A. So men can understand them.

Q. Why did god create alcohol?
A. So even ugly people can have sex.

Q. What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
A. Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.


Q: Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
A: Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Q: Why do men like love at first sight?
A: It saves them a lot of time.

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: What is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
A: Forty-five minutes.

Q: Why did God give a man a penis?
A: So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: What is the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 5 years your job will still suck.

Q: What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?
A: An insurance company.

Q. Why do men like smart women?
A. Opposites attract.

Q. What's a man's idea of a perfect date?
A. A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six-pack.

Q. What's the best thing about a blow job?
A. Ten minutes of silence!

Q. What is the difference between a golf ball and a g-spot?
A. Men will spend two hours searching for a golf ball.

Q. What's the ultimate rejection?
A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
________________________________________


A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket”?
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better
idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not”, she giggles.
“ Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!!"

________________________

There is an 80 year old virgin who suddenly gets an itch in her crotch area.
She goes to the doctor who checks her out and tells her she has crabs. She explained that she couldn't have crabs because she was a virgin, but the doctor didn't believe her, so she went to get a second opinion.
The second doctor gave her the same answer. So she went to a third doctor and said "Please help me. This itch is killing me and I know that I don't have crabs because I'm a virgin".
The doctor checks her out and says "I have good news and bad news. The good news is you don't have crabs, the bad news is that your cherry rotted and you have fruit flies."

_____________________

A redneck goes to a pharmacist and says: "I got a hot date tonight, an' I need me some perfection. How much is a pack a' deem rubbers going to cost me?"
The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax."
To which the redneck replies: "TACKS! Gad a' mighty, don't they stay on by themselves."
____

I know BADDD!!!! LOL
Stay Strong~~!!!
IPL

[fit4lyfe]

Some good, some bad. The old lady and the doctor is foul, but funny. what would we do without your humor...

[IronpumpedLady]

Glad I can add alitle laughing into your day!!!!


Stay Strong~~!!!
IPL