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You could be a redneck if you were just married and you have nothing but empty Skoal cans strung from your bumper as you leave the church.
You Might Be A Redneck If...Bluebook You might be a redneck if the Bluebook value of your truck changes with the amount of gas you have in it! You might be a redneck if you think “wind sprints” means running from a fart. You might be a redneck if your baby's first words were, "Attention, K-mart shoppers." You might be a redneck if you like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk! You might be a redneck if you think loading the dishwasher means getting the wife drunk! You might be a redneck if your mother has ammo on her Christmas list! You might be a redneck if your grandma goes to the bathroom and comes out yelling “Come look before I flush it!” _____________ Redneck Drivers The U.S. Government decided to take an experiment to see what people say right before they get into an auto accident. 89% of the people in 49 states said: ''Oh, shit!'' In Texas 94% said: ''Hold my beer. Watch this.'' ______ David's Brother David A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied. "What are their names?" he asked. "David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David," she answered. "They're all named David?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'David,' and they all come running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'David, come eat your dinner'," she answered. "But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!" Stay Strong~~!!! IPL _
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