ALL WOMEN PLEASE ADVISE ME!!

[felon4life]

Here is the situation: A man and a woman meet, both are divorced and each have 1 child (both boys) each. The woman has custody of her son, with the father having visitation, the man has visitation with his son that lives with his mother.

The woman feels that the man should love and care for her son unconditionally, but she wants nothing to do with his son, not to ever meet him or have her son meet the mans son. She says that because the mans son lives with his mother, that its not her problem and she has no desire to ever know the mans son. She also thinks that a man should not be in his childs life at all if he is divorced from his wife and that all women think in this way. How can I look my son in his eyes and tell him "sorry if you love and want to see me, but its better for you if we never see each other again" thats just crazy to even think is it not?

My question is is this normal or acceptable for a woman to ask this of a man? how can someone that is in an almost exact same situation ask so much and wnat to give so little in return?

[jpme]

Man have I ever been in your position. Hit me up on AIM if you wanna talk about it.

[abcde]

Originally Posted by felon4life

My question is is this normal or acceptable for a woman to ask this of a man? how can someone that is in an almost exact same situation ask so much and wnat to give so little in return?

You know there is something wrong with this picture since you are asking the question. And you know the answer to your question right there with that last sentence. Trust yourself.

[ShadeofPink]

If she's truly a mother she'd love all children not just her bio children. When i met my husband he fell in love with my daughter and demanded that she be adopted into his family <the father left the day of conception>

[musclegirl]

First of all, I don't understand how she as a parent could even ask you not to see your son. I don't know how old your son is, but really at any age he needs his father. I think you should realize the warning signs that something is wrong with what she is asking you to do (or not do). Your son will always be your son, and she may not always be in the picture....think of him first.

[The Anonymizer]

Real Simple.

Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. If you should be in her son's life, then she should be in your son's life. PRIMARY residence is completely irrelevant.

Also, she is 100% wrong....NO WOMEN think that once a man and woman are divorced the child should live with the woman and the man should never see his son.

I'd tell her that just because she wishes her ex husband (or baby daddy) wasnt in her son's life doesnt mean that every woman wishes that. Then i would tell her to shape up or ship out.

[IFIWAS]

Honestly I would kick the bitch out....theres no room for someone like that.

[felon4life]

Thanks to all you girls (and guys) for your input. i guess i asked for womens advise since this person tried to tell me that all women would feel this way, and i could pretty much guess that us men would think a like if we had children.

it seems that her marriage was pretty bad, him being abusive with alcohol and physical violence, and not being a father at all to his own son. how a man can be jealous of a mother/son relationship is beyond me. i told her that i thought a woman who is a mother would be more concerned with what type of father i was and the relationship that i had with my own son, because if i could turn my back on my own son, how could i not do the same even easier to a child that is not my own? i just cant picture me telling my son that he can never come over to my house and stay the night because my selfish girlfriend doenst want to ever see or meet him, or that i would have to keep completly separate relationships with mine and her son, so i can go to the park with my son one day and she and her son the next? thats just crazy and too much in my opinion, and it seems that most people are feeling the same as me and not her on this subject.

i told her my son doesnt need another mother, his is re-married and his step dad treats him very well, but there is no logical reason that she cant be in his life if we are together, people with kids divorce and re-marry all the time dont they, and most of the time the kids are in both the parents lives, unless the adults choose not to be in the kids lives, but me and my son have always been close and even when i was gone in the army for years his mother and grandparents always let him know that i would be home soon and that he could be proud of who his dad was and what he was doing. he always used to ask me "dad when will you be home again" and now that i'm home i cant see myself not being a part of his life, unless he makes this choice, i will never force our relationship on him. anway, thanks again for the replies.