Biggest Idiots of 2006

[The Anonymizer]

Number One Idiot of 2006

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset
because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured
her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring
her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some
ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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Number Two
Idiot of 2006

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on
the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

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Number Three Idiot of 2006

A man wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America walked into the branch
and wrote this, "Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in
line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that
someone had seen him write the note and might call
the police before he
reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and,
surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in
the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because
it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would
either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank
of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He
was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank
of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

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Number Four Idiot of 2006

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an
automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days later he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy ... but you still get a sign.

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Number Five Idiot of 2006

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over
21." The robber
said he was, but the cashier still refused to give it
to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took
his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the cashier. The
cashier looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21, and
she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with
his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that she got off the license. They arrested the
robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

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Idiot Number Six of 2006

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a
sign.

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Idiot Number Seven of 2006

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made
of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here's your sign.

(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.)

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IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call
the local township administrative office to request the removal of the
Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being
hit
by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to
be crossing anymore." From Kingman, Kansas.

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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She
asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said
he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef? Yep...fro m
Kansas City!
_____________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport checking in at the gate when an airport
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge? To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we
ask." Happened in Birmingham, Alabama.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner
buzzes when it's safe to cross the
street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of
mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it
signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
"What on earth are blind people doin g driving?!" She was a probation
officer in Wichita, Kansas.

_____________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker. She
was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented
cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another
word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with
that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

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IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power
strip back into
itself and, for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why
her system would not turn on. She's a deputy with the Dallas County
Sheriff's office, no less.

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IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick
up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock
the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" His
reply, "I know--I already got that side." This was at the CHEVY
dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
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STAY ALERT! They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE ...

[ORBIS]

Originally Posted by The Anonymizer

Number One Idiot of 2006
a motorist was unknowingly caught in an
automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days later he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy ... but you still get a sign.

Shit, haha Cops do have a sence of humor!

[southga.mafia]

The wench giving her child ant poison takes the cake.Damn they live around us.

[advanced-stealth-rep]

That was some good stuff LOL