Relationship stress....

[RxGenes]

ARRRGGGGHHHH ! I can't stand fighting with my girl. Here's the whole story. This will probably end up being a long read

Me and my girl were high school sweethearts 6 years ago. Good relationship then, ended because we were graduating. We didn't speak for 4 years. We have both ended up 6,000 miles away from home in the same state. She moved here, remembered my email and wrote me a little hello. We ended up having lunch and here we are now a year and a half later. Fairy tale shit huh ?

She's a great girl and I love her, but we've been fighting the last couple months. For a while we were in a stage where I didn't trust her. In her defense, she got a really bad set of circumstances that led to this. Of course me being the jealous meathead I am, I made it worse. Once the thought was in my mind, you can twist any scenario to fit the picture in my head. Past that now.......mostly

It seems like she's always mad at me. We are both VERY stubborn people. When we get along we are great but we are horrible fighters. We get so furious with each other when we argue. We each come back and push a little harder than the other, escalating the situation. We get downright nasty with each other, its great.

In the last couple months we've both been very busy and stressed out. We both work full time and go to school. On top of that we both had competitions, her's two weeks after mine. Both of us were dieting, I had a bunch of test in me, she has normal female estrogen levels , I hit financial troubles, we both have family issues going on, life just came real hard on us and it obviously adds stress

She'll flip out from nowhere and I'm a grumpy old man with a temper.....good match don't you think ? Neither one of us are perfect by any means, but you'd think we'd be able to get along with one another.

We are a great match for each other in life. We share this same lifestyle and can have tons of fun with each other. She completely supports me and where I want to go in life. On the other side, I am her support system for her own ambitions. We are different enough and stubborn enough to both have our own identities. When we do get along its the best time I've ever had, her's too, we just can't seem to do it very often. We both want this relationship to work out for us, we just don't know how.

My girl's sister lives with us too, this also adds stress to the household. I am a very neat, clean, and organized person. Neither of the girls are. This drives me up the wall. My girl and I have talked about me moving out but not in a bad way at all. This move would be to hopefully help the relationship. Financially, its much easier to live together so every month this gets put off. I am changing jobs so hopefully the cash will become less of an issue. In the next couple months I'm going to try to get my own place, this will be a step in some direction.

I don't know what the answer is to any of this..........I guess that's life

[MadManiac13]

Bro, You must be my fucking Twin. In the same situation now, except for the sister living with us. We went out, broke up, are together again. This time, it has been a damn rollercoaster ride. I love her to death, but she drives me crazy. It's like I don't want to be with her, but I can't imagine life with out her. I feel you, bro. I really do. This has been the toughest time in my life. It makes a lot of things difficult. Everyday just seems like a stress filled pile of shit. It wears you down mentally and physically. My girl is always mad at me, and for the dumbest shit. Really, it is such a drain. My work outs suffer and I seriously worry about my blood pressure some days. I would never hit her, but there are so many times I want to. I stand there shaking in anger from the dumbest fucking arguments ever. I try to stop them, tell them it is pointles, or just agree with her to get her to stop, and then she gets more angry. Rx, I feel that pain, bro. I wish I could tell you what to do, but I don't know myself. Part of me says that I deserve happiness and that I should just leave. But, the second I think of leaving her, my heart starts to hurt. I'm as lost as you, bro. It drives me crazy!

[FreeBirdbulker]

if someone or something in my life makes me feel like that, I get rid of it. hence my ex gf. she used to pull a lot of shit. stupid arguments etc. I ended it. I dont need that fuckin shit. I am 19 fuckin years old, I made a vow to myself just to learn about women for the next 9 years. no serious relationships or anything.

I had a talk with someone the other day and I'm gonna start going for older women - 26 yrs old and older- have them teach me what pleases women, how to treat women properly, how to fuck em royally, etc. that way when Im 28 and its time to settle down, I'll know how to please my wife etc. I need to find out what I want in life before I go and get lockd down with some girl who doesnt know shit either. so yea basically for the next 9 years im gonna be a selfish mothafucka

[MadManiac13]

Well bro, I'm older than 28 and I've been with this girl over 5 years total, close to 6. The best moments of my life have been with her, and also some of the worst. The last Bodybuilding show she did about killed us. I'm sure RX knows how F'ed up it gets around competition time. Anyway, it's not as easy as just egtting rid of her. Many a time, I thought she was gonna be "The one", and then there are times were I think it will never work. I've been through a lot with her, but I know if we part ways, there is no going back again. It's a very tough decision.

[FreeBirdbulker]

theres 3 million women on this planet if that means anything to you lol

[Chopper]

RX my friend...I thought I was reading a thread that I POSTED!!!

Similarities are very close to me and my wife....but there are also alot of differences.

Sounds like you guys would be greeat together if u didnt work FT and go to school FT. The added stress of her sister does not help. Maybe she should find a place of her own...unless your baggin' that too(if so then keep her around )

Sounds like u guys aregue about stupid shit like my wife and I do. Dont worry it pass's, but if your completely unhappy then sit her down and talk to her about it. Thats the only thing u can do. Goodluck with her man and let me know if i can help in anyway....



PS got any pics of the sister n law????

[The Anonymizer]

Sounds to me that both of you are still together due to codependence.....maybe its love also, but codependence is not okay despite what anyone tells you.

Alot of times people's exaggerated outward emotions are a reflection of exactly the opposite of how they are on the inside. Someone who seems OVERLY confident on the outside is usually very self conscious and unconfident on the inside (call it Five_8 syndrome). Someone who seems very demanding on the outside usually feels like they dont have control of anything in their life on the inside. Guys who usually talk about how big their penis is usually have a small one, girls who talk about how good they are in bed usually suck....etc, etc.

I think you both need to spend a few days apart where you really have sometime to reflect upon your current situation and decide what it is you really want in a partner, and also what you think you're doing yourself that makes you less than the perfect partner to someone else.

Basically both of you need to be perfectly content with being single and with the person you are individually before you can meet each others needs in a relationship.

Also, dont take bodybuilding so seriously....yeah, its a great sport and its good to be dedicated about it, but keep your priorities straight....its NOT the most important thing in life.

[RxGenes]

After writing this last night it helped me think about the whole situation. This morning I woke up with a brilliant solution to our problems. We get squirt guns, whenever we start to get in a fight, we just start soaking each other and keep our mouth shut. That idea flew like a lead balloon with her.

That's what I've figured out is our biggest issue. We can't discuss a disagreement without getting absolutely furious. This is what I think needs to change between us. Because if not, it'll certainly be our downfall.

[RxGenes]

I think its hilarious that MadManiac13 and Chopper both are looking into the mirror on this post. I don't mean it this way but that alone makes me feel better that you guys are right there with me

[RxGenes]

Anon I almost agree with everything you wrote....just not the codependance part. My last relationship was like that. I have an ex, a dog, and a condo in another city. We had just become "comfotable" with each other and went along with life. That relationship was 4 years but should have ended earlier.

Me and my girl are both different individuals. The last couple months as we were getting ready for our comps she did her thing and I did mine. We would just cross each other in passing and of course the occasional day off together here and there.

I would like to think that we both do fine without each other, we simply like hanging out.....when we get along